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house

 

on a high tide after heavy rain

the river grew and ate my house up

in the dark

my mother and dog waited alone on the tallest bed for daybreak

amongst the water a refrigerator can float

by the time i could finally get there

mum mowed the nature strip of our carcassed house

 

at one time everything that happened to me happened here

grew breasts behind that wall which no longer stood

and all I could think of now was

does that mean the ghost is finally gone?

 

ghost

 

11, 12, 13

my sibling had a ghost

a man whose ‘path’ walked from the bathroom, to my room, and back

often i was woken to ward him off

at the edge of their sleep he waited by the bed

but my presence like a lamp to clear the shadow out

 

it took time and some strange women to have him finally leave

the smell of sage made me sick

and the family went quiet for days

(we couldn’t talk about anything bad that happened between us)

but where there was quiet became laughter

 

ghost ii

 

by the time i had my first boyfriend

the ghost had been gone for years

eighteen and in love

we shared a bed after he climbed through the window

 

one morning he woke up pale

to tell me of a figure at the end of our bed

no real form, but if he had to say, man-shaped

the ghost came into my body and used my mouth to say

i am not gone

 

mud

 

was it a favour the river did me?

‘rise up’ it said and stole away our house in the night

us both swollen past our banks, outgrown

 

don’t let it in your mouth

mould will make a home in your lungs and feed on your breath

those who thank god for a divine cleansing

have never smelled the sun turning mud sour

 

ghost iii

 

the ghost visited but i lived there

came home sweaty and snuck out silently in the dark

a fork sticking out of my father’s hand

used the plaster walls of my room to hide my disappointment

sat in the foundations for years to grow into it

 

where i stood now

no walls

our family home so small when you could see end to end

every room where every fight, every meal, was in view of each other

no corners anymore

 

at one time everything that happened to me happened here

grew breasts behind that wall which no longer stood

and all I could think of now was

does that mean the ghost is finally gone?