Sexuality Series for Channel Void
Written for and published by Channel Void. Find the original post here.
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I feel like everyone knew I was queer before I did, but still I met a lot of resistance once I came out. The first person I properly told said, ‘female sexuality is a moving target’ and said I shouldn’t worry about it, even though I was approaching my sexuality with a lot of joy. People asked me if I would dump my boyfriend, I was outed to my best friend...I think bisexuality wasn’t taken seriously.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
During my teenage years I struggled a lot with my sexuality. I was horrified with my attraction to women and then it was further confused by my attraction to men. I only considered bisexuality as a novel thing - something for party girls. I think a lot of people do.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But as I come into my sexuality and my queerness I am overcome with serenity. I find it akin to a spiritual experience. It’s just as private, just as beautiful, just as sacred. It unites me with ideas of truth and humanness and connection.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My queerness constantly reminds me that we are not bound to any preconceived ideas of ourselves, of community, and the world. We can’t contort ourselves to fit into an idea- it isn’t truthful. We must allow- to provide ourselves with- a framework that serves who we are.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I only have the rights I do because the community before me challenged the framework they were given, because they demanded a reality that recognised them. We would all do well to carry the flame and continue the fight.
Guest Opinion for Channel Void
"How long should sex go for?" is a blog post written for and published by Channel Void. Find the original blog post here.
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The key here is to remember that sex is about pleasure. Removing orgasm as the “goal” of sex will only serve your sexual experience, and it will take the pressure off time.
Take your time to explore what you and your partner(s) enjoy and periodically check-in. This is true for you as well - check in with yourself as to how you're enjoying the experience too. If you feel like you're not having fun or something is getting monotonous, ask if your partner(s) want to switch it up or take a break.
Create an environment where both you and your partner(s) feel comfortable and relaxed so you can both communicate your needs and desires.
Sometimes it takes time to get into it, and sometimes we get over a sexual encounter quickly. Both of those things are fine.
Sex is an opportunity to better know ourselves and each other, to be and to hold vulnerability. Also - it is a lot of fun!
Remember to enjoy yourself! Rather than worrying about the amount of time sex might take, consider how you might like to use it. It doesn’t matter if sex takes minutes or hours - as long as it's a good experience.